Have you ever been doing something completely mundane and normal, and then, boom! A blast from the past that floors you and you don’t know what to do?
I was just sitting on my couch, listening to an awesome playlist that I had found which has a bunch of music in it that I used to listen to in my formative years. I was shuffling through and then without warning, a Radiohead song that I used listened to with my ex-boyfriend came on. It was 'our song.'
Now this guy broke my heart in a million pieces. I thought that I loved him (hindsight is 20/20) and after we broke up I listened to this song on repeat for probably a week straight, wearing a shirt of his that he had left at my place, and drinking my sorrows away... We’ve all been there right?
I was completely stumped. I had no idea what to do. I know that I was over him (it had been years) but for some reason it cut me deep. Once I got over the initial shock, I realised how much the situation reminded me of something Amy Poehler says in her book “Yes Please”.
Side note, I HIGHLY recommend you read it, it’s fantastic. It’s funny and insightful, and so brutally honest that when you finish reading it, you want to find her and hug her. But what got me is there is a bit in it where she speaks about time travelling that was so profound with me when I read it, and it suited this situation perfectly.
“You can control time,” Amy explains. "You can't stop it, or stretch it or move it around. You can travel back and forth by living in the moment and paying attention. Time can be your bitch if you just let go of the next and the before. I believe you can time travel three different ways. With people, places, and things…. People help you time travel. People work around you, and next to you and the universe waits for the perfect time to whisper in your ear, ‘Look this way’”.
She goes on to explain how something little can take her to another time and place and I whole heartedly agree with her. I time travelled back to a time where I was actually a complete mess. I even almost hate myself for how pathetic I was when I look back at it. But listening to that song today didn’t make me wish I was back there, or take me back to that moment. It made me realise just how far I have come.
Just after that was when I fought my way through depression. I dropped out of university about 6 months later and I went through a pretty tough time. But I kicked depression's ass and I am now back studying and, at the risk of sounding like a massive nerd, I actually love it. I have a fantastic job which I am excelling at. I have a fantastic partner who I love with all my heart who helps me grow every singe day. I have grown as a person, into someone I am proud of. Sure, I’m far from perfect. But I am happy. I am proud of myself. And I can time-travel.
“My thoughts on time travel are simple. It exists, and we are in control of it.”
Originally Published on For Goodness Sake on December 9, 2016.
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